I have had that question running through my mind for months now. When I found out I had cancer, I opted for a double mastectomy. After the surgery I was told they got it all and it had not spread into the lymph nodes. The dr's still wanted me to do chemo, but I decided against it. My thought was . . . they have told me they got everything out and there MIGHT be a SLIM POSSIBLE chance that there could be one rough cell floating around somewhere in my body. It seemed like too much to put my body through for such a small slim chance.
All that to say, I did not do chemo, instead I am taking a med for 5 years that is suppose to help block the hormones that they think caused the cancer. It's a hormone blocker . . . I am now trying to decide if this is something I really want to take for 5-10 years or not. It is messing with my body. Sure, not the same as cancer did, or as chemo would but it is none the less. Hot flashes constantly, not sleeping, weight gain, moods that are crazy, and just the overall feeling of blah.
I just don't know. This is the only thing I am doing to "keep the cancer at bay" but it still does not mean it wont come back. However, if I stop taking it, and the cancer does come back, will that thought of "if i had only kept taking the meds" creep back into my head.
My mind is spinning and I don't know if I will ever get to a final decision about it. Anyone out there been through this?
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Had to have a little "Come to Jesus" talk with the girls tonight . . .
I am so very very sick of listening to them fight, call each other names, yell, scream, and just plain treat one another badly.
I am also sick of them slacking off and not doing what they are suppose to do. I mean I know they are kids, and they won't listen, but there are some things I expect from them that they are just not giving me.
Before I went back to work, I sat down with the girls (weeks and weeks before) and told them what the plan was going to be. They would get home from school around 2:20pm. They were to go home, wash hands, eat snack, and get their homework out. They were not allowed to go play (or have others play) until 3:30. One hour, one hour is all I asked of them. Get your stuff done. Clean the cat box, do your piano, then at 3:30 (only 1 hr) you would be done and you can go play.
While I was home, this worked out fine. The first few weeks that I went to work, it was going pretty well . . . but now . . . not so much.
I was so sick of coming home at 5-530 and asking the kids if they did their homework only to hear "oh YEAH . . . I forgot about it" UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH
To ask them if they have any homework on the weekend only on tuesday to get an email from their teacher saying they haven't turned in this much needed assignment . .. .
I know this is normal in almost every house that has kids, but I really don't think I am asking too much.
I had to talk to them all on the couch and explain the rolls of big, middle, little, sisters and where they fall into that.
I went on for about an hour saying things like "this is not the way i raised you" "Put others first. Someone else is always having a worse thing happen to them. Do what you can to help them! If that is a meal, a coffee out once a week, whatever they need . . . it's not always about you . . .
I think I talked myself into a circle, and not sure if it helped one little bit :(
I am also sick of them slacking off and not doing what they are suppose to do. I mean I know they are kids, and they won't listen, but there are some things I expect from them that they are just not giving me.
Before I went back to work, I sat down with the girls (weeks and weeks before) and told them what the plan was going to be. They would get home from school around 2:20pm. They were to go home, wash hands, eat snack, and get their homework out. They were not allowed to go play (or have others play) until 3:30. One hour, one hour is all I asked of them. Get your stuff done. Clean the cat box, do your piano, then at 3:30 (only 1 hr) you would be done and you can go play.
While I was home, this worked out fine. The first few weeks that I went to work, it was going pretty well . . . but now . . . not so much.
I was so sick of coming home at 5-530 and asking the kids if they did their homework only to hear "oh YEAH . . . I forgot about it" UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH
To ask them if they have any homework on the weekend only on tuesday to get an email from their teacher saying they haven't turned in this much needed assignment . .. .
I know this is normal in almost every house that has kids, but I really don't think I am asking too much.
I had to talk to them all on the couch and explain the rolls of big, middle, little, sisters and where they fall into that.
I went on for about an hour saying things like "this is not the way i raised you" "Put others first. Someone else is always having a worse thing happen to them. Do what you can to help them! If that is a meal, a coffee out once a week, whatever they need . . . it's not always about you . . .
I think I talked myself into a circle, and not sure if it helped one little bit :(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)