Life changes

So, since many of you have asked why I haven't been blogging lately, I thought it was time to explain.

In August of 2012, my husband of 11 years told me he wanted a divorce. I was floored! I had just gotten through one of the hardest times of my life, and was still very much recovering. He gave me every reason he had as to why it was what he wanted (which I will not get into here) and I gave him every reason not to! I didn't want it. I was going to fight for my marriage. We decided to go to counseling. It was ok . . .  but I am not sure how much it helped.  The next 6 months were pretty much crap.  I decided I was going to "let" him do whatever he wanted, because that was the only way I was going to stay married . . . well, that burnt out pretty fast.  We were going through the motions of being married, but I knew the love was not there on his side. In August of the following year, I found out some things that, in my heart, sealed the deal that this marriage was over.  I am sad to say that I finally gave up. After a year of fighting with it, I knew it was done. The man I was married to now was not even close to the man I had married. Even his core values were different. We decided it was over. For months I have been living with the guilt of knowing this is a choice that I have now made to get a divorce. I have it drilled into my head that divorce is not ok and I should never give into it, but that is not true. As much as I hate divorce, and hate what it is going to do to my children, I truly believe this is what needs to be.  I have a job to do; to raise my daughters to be strong independent women and to know that they can handle anything that is thrown at them in life.  Is this where I thought I would be at 32 years old? Oh hell no . . . but this is where I am, and this is the life that I am going to make the best of.  I have been through and fought MANY different challenges in my life and each one of them has made me a stronger mother and woman. This is no different.