I am just wondering, are any of you honest with yourself about who you are, what you are about, and how strong you are?
I like to think that I come off as a confident person, but I am really not. I like to think that I come across as a person with self confidence but I am not.
I didn't finish college and don't think I am smart enough to go back. I am anxious about going back to work because I don't feel like I am going to be good enough to do anything.
It is so hard living your life not feeling like you are good enough. I don't have a degree, I haven't worked in 10 years, I feel like I am out of the loop.
What do I think I am good at? Not much. I think I can take some good pictures sometimes, but I feel like I am too stupid to figure out all the in's and out's of my big fancy camera, and that is keeping me from taking even better pictures. I used to be good at English, but I can't even remember the proper way to write a paper. I can change diapers with the best of them. Acting, I am good at acting, I feel like I have been putting on a show my whole life.
I live my day to day in fear that people will realize what a joke I really am. How incompetent I am to be an important part of our society.
I am sick of hiding, of lying, of being fake. I don't feel like I am good enough, smart enough, or competent enough.
What is there to do now? I don't know. I don't know how to find self confidence. How do I change a life long perception of myself?
5 comments:
OK, Lizzy, enough of the self doubt already! You are, and always have been, good at anything you put your mind to. And as for your writing skills, take a look at your own blog! I work with people who have college degrees, and they can't spell or use proper grammar, so you can compete with the best of them. Also, as my pastor pointed out in his sermon yesterday, God made us in HIS image, so how can you doubt HIS handywork? Love you, Aunt Sherrie.
Aunt Sherrie,
Thank you for your kind words . . . Everyone feels self doubt in their lives, and this happens to be that time for me. It is not the best feeling in the world, but I know it is something I am going to have to fight though. Most people just don't put it out in the world for everyone to see . . . Me, I just want other people to know that everyone feels this way at some point or another :)
I love you
I just wrote a big long message and then it dropped it saying I need to refresh. grrr. I felt the same way exactly but I had to better myself for my kids being a single mom. I wanted off welfare so I had to do something. I tried out for Dental Collage and they said my grades werent good enough so I had to go thru an adault school and prove myself there. Then I was accepted. It was really tough with all the memorizing of terms and proceedures but I did it and took the state boards, and passed. I proved to myself that I wasnt stupid. I'm still not good at some things like spelling lol, but I know that I can learn. Take that class on photography and learn about those complicated cameras, you can prove to yourself that you can do it. It will build your confidence like nothing else. Love you honey, Cindy
Well you must have done something right. Your kids and hubby adore you. Your kids are smart, adorable and multi talented and that didn't just happen on its own girly! Raising your girls the way you do is an amazing job. Besides, smarts is way beyond textbooks. Its more about life's knowledge and experience and I would say your right up there! And you have a smile that makes anyone feel good:) keep smiling!
I feel like that all the time. People will tell you you're crazy and shouldn't feel that way and tell you all the things you're good at (which always helps). When it all comes down to it there are people who are confident, and people who aren't. I'd bet you're married to one of the confident ones... I am. He helps motivate me.
Being a SAHM, dealing with the mundane and monotonous all day every day for 10 years is enough to wear anyone down. Taking the first steps will be hard, but you're going to adapt and become an expert at your new job. I bet you'll be shocked at how uneducated your classmates are when you start school. The good news is you have very high expectations of yourself, but that's also the bad news.
We just moved from Spain to DC. I am depressed. I always get depressed when we move. It's a lot to take in. You've had so much going on and it's going to take more time than you'd like to get back to the normal you. What works for me? Eating right, exercise, and limiting my internet time.
You're awesome for being so forthcoming and honest on something as public as the internet. Posting something this personal IS CONFIDENT! You KNOW you're not crazy and not the only one who feels this way. I don't know you personally, but I can totally relate to you. Thanks :) Sorry this was so long lol.
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