So, I am sitting at my aunts house right now. Sitting on the couch with my cousin, typing with her on facebook , & just got off of skype with my brother, sister in law, and nieces.
I don't really know what to type. I don't really know what to say. I keep thinking that I should have some important thing to say the night before I have my boobs cut off, but nothing is coming to mind.
I think I am pretty numb at the moment. Well, inside I am numb. Outside I am sore . . . my neck hurts, a lot, and I have a headache. Phew, I feel better now! ha, kidding.
Goodness, this is a very boring blog, I am sorry. I know a lot of you are waiting for me to give you an update, but I got nothing.
I miss my husband, a lot. I miss my girls, a lot. I am thankful for everything that I do have right now, and for the health that I have. I am thankful for healed relationships, and ones that I would like to be healed.
Please please please keep Joshua and the girls in your prayers. They are really going to need it tomorrow.
30 comments:
Sending you hugs! Love you Lizzy
love the Cav's
Hello there. I linked to you from RFML. Julie's story about you really hit a chord for me. Just know a 30yr old photographer mil spouse momma of 3 boys living in Spain is most assuredly praying for you. I wish you nothing but the best today and the upcoming months. I'm going back and reading about your journey... you are awesome :)
I don't know you, but read your story on Rants From Mommyland. I want you to know that you have prayers coming from a 31 yr old mil spouse in the middle of Kansas. I had an aunt and a good friend go though this fight and come out on the other side. So, fight like a girl, and come out stronger! You can do this! Many prayers your way, and to your husband and girls!
Praying for you in Chicago!! My sister is a year after surgery. It's a long road but we're on your side!!!
Praying for you from Texas...
Also from RFML and thinking of you! You will be strong and amazing and your girls and husband and friends (and strangers) all know it. But its okay to worry and be scared. You can't be brave without first being scared and if you weren't scared - you would just be in denial. It will take a while to get to the other side - and from what I have heard - there isn't ever really an Other Side. You are being proactive and as a Mom - you know that you do things that are hard because they are right. Thinking of you in Virginia!
Praying for you from Connecticut! I heard your story from Mommyland and I am a brand new mom who wishes you all the best!!
Ack! (Oh my gosh, I can just see Cathy from the comic strip pointing and saying "ack" and now I hate myself)...
But anyway, Ack, you have that thing on your blog that says "someone from [insert my address here] just stopped by," so I guess I had better stop silently checking out your blog and go ahead and offer you some words of encouragement.
I feel like Lydia over at RFML did a pretty fantastic job of all that, so...you don't even know me...so...I'm mainly just gonna let you know that I AM praying. I believe in the God who sent his very own son to die in our place. I believe he knows our fears, he knows our sufferings, and he promises to never leave us. He takes us through the fire to make us stronger. Listen, I hate the fire, too, so I'm not trying to be like "lucky you! Fire day!" But I do think what you're enduring will be used for good, I do. You will have a STORY and you will be able to relate to other women who are frightened and you will be able to add "cancer-fighting-ninja-badass" to your toolbelt.
So...go for it. You can do it. In fact, you ARE doing it. This is one day closer to getting through all this...rock it.
And sometimes, when I know that my own mortality is pretty real and one day I will leave this world...instead of getting weird and panicky and clawing on to what I have and pulling my kids and husband close and grabbing a paper bag to breathe into...I listen to the song "Take Our Turn" by the J Band. It is upbeat and it's about death. So...you're welcome. Ha. Truly, it's a good perspective-bringer. I only suggest that song because you appear to be a woman who might appreciate some upbeat stuff and some good healthy perspective and also you're nowhere near dying, so, that's why I'm passing it along.
Rock on, Ellen...Rock right on with your bad self.
Your friend,
A hooker who enjoys RFML.
Praying hard in full expectation of God showing up and fighting your battle for you.
I am Sherry from Florida, a fan of Rants. I am praying for you, your doctors, your family. May God cover you with healing, peace and love.
Sending you hugs and love and light. Linked from RFML as well, and am also fighting the good fight right now.
I had my surgery 1/12 and have completed two rounds of four of chemo. After that will be 33 radiation treatments.
This disease sucks. That's all there is. I was told originally "We caught this early, this will be a piece of cake." Well that was unfair to cake.
HOWEVER... (and here's the positive part)... you CAN do this. And I don't know you, but I know that this is completely DO-ABLE. And while this time will seem long, at some point in the not-so-distant future, it will just be a bump in the road you're looking at in the rear-view mirror.
Hugs and prayers from TX...
I HATE Cancer.
To get through this you have to know and trust that God is in control. When my life spun out of control because of cancer I had to CONSTANTLY remind myself that there is a bigger picture always going on.
That picture is about eternity, not just today. And that picture is about my heart and the hearts of those around me who are watching. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare, not to harm, to give you a hope and a future"
AND 2 more things of importance are:
1. Laugh
2. "It could be worse, it could be raining" (Aside from Jer. 29:11, this is a life mantra for me)
only to encourage,
Carol
Total stranger sending love, because love is strength no matter where it comes from.
Sending love from a total stranger. Because love is strength no matter where it comes from.
I just want to leave a note of encouragement and reach out. I read about you on RFML, and I'm also a survivor. You can kick cancer's ass, and it sounds like you'll do it well. I was 31, and I'm almost 8 yrs out. It's definitely a "Suessical" journey, and you have so many, many people to help you, and love you, and cheer for you. Good luck with everything, and I'm so so sorry you have to deal with this.
May you be calm.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be freed from illness.
Hugs.
(via RFML)
I landed here via Lydia's rant on Mommyland.
Yes, I'm weeping. And maybe that's strange. But the rant really touched me this morning.
I've had friends and family each have that horrible day when they found a lump. And every month I check to make sure I don't. But I send to you today the combined strength and positive energy of all the women I've known who've had it and won. I've not lost one and all are well.
Stay strong. I'm sending some positive energy to your family, too.
Many hugs, positive thoughts, and a virtual box of wine heading your way from Indiana!
I just read about you and your beautiful friendship with the RFML ladies and I wanted to add my prayers and belief in you and your strength.
Hooker~ you are kicking cancer's ass as we speak. God has totally got your back. He has angels guiding every doctor, every nurse, every moment in that hospital.
You are loved, you are prayed for, you are protected. You are being healed.
All you need to do is pray and have a positive attitude.I love you!!!!
Last year I went through all of this with my mom. We both just said over and over.....these next few months will really suck. In a sad crazy way it was the most wonderful experience of my life. She is happy and cancer free. All of my prayers will be for you and yours tonight.
Hi Lizzy,
Put me down as one of the many mothers who are praying for you and your family.
I've known Julie for a few years now, and I know I've told her how envious I was of her having such great neighbors. You especially loomed large in her stories (not just as Ellen :)) of neighborhood awsomeness.
I can't say what God has planned for any of us (wouldn't that be great to know?) but I'd like to think that you, who has obviously brought such happiness to the people around her, needs to stay on this earth a good long while. If only to see what will happen to all the love you have shared.
Love to your family.
Keep fighting.
Sarah
RFML brought me here, but for a twist in fate your story could be mine - sister, aunts, cousins, grandmother all with breast cancer. I've had a few scares and am waiting for my turn.
I hate cancer, I'm doing my part to kick it's butt by walking in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I'll add your name as one of the people I walk for. The list is getting way too long - I hate cancer!
http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/Houston?px=6327342&pg=personal&fr_id=2140
I also linked to you from RFML and ironically, my husband met yours this week. We are in Hawaii. Please feel free to email me at any time. kbosworth02@gmail.com I've been thinking of you all day and saying prayers for all of you.
This single mom of three little boys is praying for you from Tennessee (also a RFML reader who just read Lydia's beautiful March 2 post about you).
You've captured my heart - via a check in with RFML - & a bit of hilarity about naming animals. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer back in May...What a shock! Right out of no where! My life was turned upside down! Next thing I know, it's a PORT! it's starting CHEMO on my birthday, and 6 rounds later, preparing for a Mastectomy...and then 30 sessions of Radiation...That reported, I want you to know how helpful having a blog like this can be - just as you are finding out from people all around the world who have discovered you! And, yes, your honesty with how you are feeling is a gift to all who want to reach out to you. You are going to discover that you have so much to offer: in this shared world of "cancer", it's the little things that mean so much...and sharing is HUGE!
So, yes, the first couple of days post-operatively are challenging. Trust you have a wonderful doctor who understands you & your body's needs such that you are COMFORTABLE & able to rest. I happened to have some tricky IV issues on my "unaffected" side so that I was "forced" to use my mastectomy side's arm immediately= a real blessing. Everyone is amazed at my range of motion! So, get the help you need with the big stuff (hair washing!) and really try to move, move, move - little by little!
Music preferences can be so individual...that said, I loved walking to my radiation sessions with the beats of Paul Simon's "Graceland" album on my MP3.
Thinking of you. Came here from Rants From Mommyland. Already read through and left a comment on another post, too. May you find the strength you never knew you had to fight this fight, one I know you can win!
Ashley
http://www.thedoseofreality.com/2011/09/12/just-one-more-day/
I'm another rants mommy who made my way over here. Currently I'm 4000 miles from our family in Alaska. I'm praying!!! Thankfully this is still America, but I've done the foreign country too. We lived in Germany for 3 years. I'm also praying for your hubby and girls. Come out swinging even more than you already have!!!! You got this!!!
Saw your story on RFML. You are so strong. If you can be away from your family and your husband through all this, you can kick cancer's ass. Love and prayers from Southern CA.
Praying for you up here in Canada, and also a few prayers for wisdom and guidance for your doctors. Love.
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